Always Been You Read online

  “Do I have to?” I exhaled a deep breath and hunched my shoulders.

  He walked into my office with his hands in his pockets. “The big boss says you have to. Buck up. You’ll be okay.”

  “I’m not okay seeing Corinne after all these years.” I rose from my chair and tugged on my skirt. It landed right above my knees, showing off my bare legs. I’d had the foresight to shave them yesterday. I wouldn’t meet Corinne in all her gorgeous and waxed glory as a hairy beast. I snorted. She probably had her entire body waxed on a weekly basis.

  “I don’t understand why you’re upset.” Nest curled an arm around my shoulder when I came to his side. “It’s been ten years since the incident. I thought you were over it.”

  “I thought I was, but I’m not.” I blinked back a sudden wave of tears. “But I’m a professional and won’t embarrass you or Vincent.”

  He kissed the side of my head and cupped my cheek. “I know you won’t. And if you end up saying something you shouldn’t, I’ll slap you upside the head.”

  I giggled and poked him in the side with my finger. He sidestepped my move and darted into the hallway. I shut off the light and locked my door. Nest checked his phone and held the elevator door open. A frown replaced his smile, but he kept silent while we took the elevator down to the parking garage.

  The rain had stopped, but it was still cloudy and the air thick and balmy. Nest strode ahead of me to his car while I took my time. He was always rushing and on the go, hating to be late. I was glad he was driving us to the restaurant. It was a thrill to ride in his Maserati Ghibli.

  I climbed in the passenger seat, and he revved up the engine. I closed my eyes, enjoying the cool air flowing out of the vents. Music from one of the oldies stations drowned out thoughts of Corinne that had consumed me the entire day.

  The car stopped and I opened my eyes. We idled at a red light. Nest gripped the steering wheel with both hands. His mouth was in a straight line and his body tense. There wasn’t much traffic, so that couldn’t be the reason he was angry.

  “What gives?”

  He glanced at me from the corner of his eye. “What do you mean?”

  “You’re upset about something.” I tapped the side of the steering wheel with my hand. “You’re practically strangling the wheel.”

  The light changed to green, and we drove ahead. He loosened his hold and relaxed his shoulders, although the strain lines remained around his mouth and he breathed heavily through his nose.

  “Vincent is going back to Las Vegas in September and staying there until May to oversee the construction of the new casino.”

  “Oh,” I said, now understanding why he was annoyed. Just like Nest knew about my romantic failure with Corinne, I knew about him and Vincent. Their relationship was so hush-hush I didn’t think Karl had any idea.

  “What does that mean for you and him?” I asked.

  He brushed back his hair. “He texted a few minutes ago wondering where I was. He wants to go to his place after dinner and talk about us.”

  I snorted. “If you go to his place, you’re not going to talk.”

  One side of his mouth tilted up. “I’m hoping he’ll want me to come to Vegas with him. Maybe that’s what he wants to discuss.”

  “Or he’s breaking up with you.” I set my hand on his arm. “But, then again, you two have never dated publically, so it’s not a breakup, right?”

  “You like to stick it where it hurts, Nee.” He rubbed his chest and grimaced.

  “You were the first person I went to after…I spent the night with Corinne and what she did to me. You didn’t judge me and helped me get over her. You we’re very honest, and I always appreciated that. I’m returning the favor. I don’t want you to make a big mistake.”

  He drove into the restaurant parking lot and pulled into a spot near the back, but didn’t shut off the ignition right away. He stared ahead, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. “You always thought it was wrong for me to get involved with my boss.”

  “Hey, I like Vincent, and he’s a great boss. But I hate how he hides his sexuality and thinks you’re okay being his dirty little—”

  He held up his hand and shut off the car. “I knew what I was getting into with Vincent. He’s not ready to come out yet.” The hurt in his eyes made my chest sting. “He won’t be able to handle his family’s reaction, especially his father who may cut him off if he finds out. If Vincent can’t appreciate what we have, then I’ll have to accept it and move on.”

  My brother was far too forgiving, unlike me who still couldn’t get over Corinne’s rejection, her actions much like what Vincent was doing to Nest. Both preferred to show the world a lie instead of embracing who they really were.

  I drew out two tissues from my purse, one for me and the other for my brother. We blew our noses and then shared sad smiles. He rolled his head across his shoulders, and I played with my bangs. Finally, he squeezed my knee, and I rubbed his shoulder. No other words were offered between us. We would support one another as we always did.

  I opened the door and got out. With Nest by my side, we walked into the restaurant, proving how strong the Baker siblings were by facing the hurdles that would weaken us if we let them.

  ***

  I’d never been to Marc Stevens but heard the food was excellent. What I didn’t expect to see right when we entered the foyer was a lounge area near the bar with a grand piano in the middle. For a Yamaha, it was a beautiful, shiny instrument. It looked exactly like the one I learned on in high school but different from the baby grand Steinway I owned. I would love to tickle its keys instead of playing nice with Corrine the diva.

  Putting a halt to my instrument ogling, I observed the patrons at tables and at the bar with their drinks and plates of food. Servers with trays walked the floor, and the buzz of conversation was heavy in the air.

  Nest took out his phone after it pinged. “Everyone is in a private room in the back.”

  “How nice,” I murmured, and Nest approached the hostess who then escorted us down the hall.

  I started to tuck my hair behind my ears but then remembered it was clipped back. Nest, on the other hand, scratched the back of his neck and combed his fingers through his hair brushing the collar of his jacket. I flicked away some stray hair on his shoulders but paused when Vincent called out to us.

  The room, with eight tables and a bar to the side, was really too big for our small party of seven, but I guess it was for the best since we had a celebrity in our midst who probably didn’t want to be gaped at by other diners.

  I remained in the doorway, scanning the area until I spotted Karl near the bar next to a tall woman with short blonde-highlighted hair wearing a white cap-sleeve lace dress and silver sandals. She drank clear liquid from a glass and stared in my direction. She set her glass on the bar, and, with a huge smile in place, approached me. My breath clogged in my throat, and my belly clenched. The walls seemed to close in, and my shirt clung to my back from my sweat.

  Corrine was a sight for sore eyes. She was still beautiful and vibrant, much like she had been when she was seventeen. The ache in my chest intensified, along with the fluttering in my stomach.

  “Whitney, I’m so happy to see you!” she exclaimed in a near squeal and pulled me in for a hug.

  I stood there with my arms hanging at my sides, my face pressed into her throat, her familiar scent of almond and vanilla blanketing me. She still wore the same perfume after all these years. I sniffed once before I moved back, keeping a polite smile in place.

  “You look amazing. Love the funky glasses,” she said and rubbed my arms, making my hair there stand on end. Why was she touching me in the open like we were friends? And why did my body want more of the same from her?

  “You cut your hair,” I said, and stepped back, unable to take her touch for much longer.

  She giggled and cupped the back of her head, the strands framing her face and showing off her long, tanned neck free of any jewelry. “I cut it last
week. A whole eight inches gone and donated to Locks of Love.” She rested her hands on her chest. “But you went the complete opposite. How long is your hair? When did you start growing out your bangs?”

  “My hair is down to my shoulders. I, ah, have had bangs for a few years now.” I cleared my throat and searched past her shoulder to find Nest talking with Vincent and a man in a suit I didn’t recognize.

  “No contacts? Good. Your glasses really bring out the beauty in your eyes.” She tapped the frame, her fingers stroking under my ear.

  I jerked my head away, amazed by her gall.

  “Doesn’t my little sister look incredible?” Karl came up to Corinne’s side and curved his arm around her waist.

  I licked my lips and nodded. The words stuck in my throat. She didn’t need me to tell her the truth.

  She lost her smile and lines crossed her forehead. “We have a lot to catch up on. It’s been way too long since we last talked.”

  “It’s been ten years. You know why we haven’t talked in so long.” I placed my palms flat along the side of my legs instead of hugging them to my chest.

  Her mouth trembled, and hurt flashed across her face.

  I lifted my shoulder as if that was a good enough explanation. “I’m going to get a drink. If you two will excuse me—”

  Vincent whistled and everyone turned to him. Corinne shifted near me. I stepped back, but she clutched my hand. I curled my fingers in my palm, ready to pull away, but she tightened her hold.

  “Please don’t,” she whispered.

  I didn’t want to cause a scene, so I conceded. I lowered my arm to my side and let her hold my hand, trying to ignore her moist palm branding my skin.

  “Thank you all for coming for dinner, on my dime of course,” Vincent boomed and then chuckled along with the rest of the group who found his joke funny. I didn’t and neither did Corinne. Her hand stayed locked around mine.

  He raised his glass. “Corrine, on behalf of myself and Janus, welcome to the family. It’s the start of a something amazing.”

  “Thank you for your generous offer. My agent and financial advisors thank you also,” she said and squeezed my hand. “I’m so happy to be home again with my family and friends.”

  I broke away when everyone clapped. Ignoring Corinne’s watchful stare, I went to the bar and ordered a vodka gimlet, heavy on the vodka. I wasn’t much of a drinker, but in order to get through dinner, I would need something stronger than soda or water.

  Vincent directed people to take seats. I gulped down half my glass, ready to order another, but Nest came to my side.

  “Slow down.” He guided me to the table and the two empty seats next to one another, one of which was on Corinne’s right.

  “Sorry, Nee, but it’s what she wants,” he said in my ear, and pulled out the chair next to her.

  I shut my eyes for a second and exhaled. Asking him to change seats would lead to questions from those at the table. I wouldn’t put it past Corinne to bring it up. Instead, I thanked him through a stiff mouth, finished off my drink, and sat down while he took the seat on Vincent’s left.

  Corinne stopped talking to Karl who sat on her other side. She leaned in close, her cheek brushing over my own. If I turned my face, I would have easy access to kiss her plump pink lips.

  “Stop it. You’re making me uncomfortable,” I muttered under my breath and placed my napkin on my lap.

  “I’ve missed you,” she whispered and nudged my shoulder with hers.

  A server asked for drink orders while another poured water in our glasses. Corinne’s leg pressed against the side of my bare one. I moved as far away as possible without being too obvious. I expected her to pout, but, as I raised my wine glass to take a sip, she clinked hers to mine and smiled.

  “To a new beginning and a bright future,” she said and winked.

  Her lips then formed two words that were for my benefit alone. “For us.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  I sat in the corner stall, the sounds of toilets flushing from the others. I wasn’t the type to spend too much time in a public bathroom, but here I was, even though I still had to finish dessert and continue to be sociable. My mouth ached from smiling, hiding the fact that sitting next to Corinne was torture. She acted if she didn’t have a care in the world and was having a grand old time while I endured her subtle moves to make sure I was aware of her presence.

  I never realized how much of a touchy-feely person she was. Back in school, we never hugged or touched one another, until the night I not only handed over my body to her, but my heart as well. It appeared she wanted both again. All through dinner, she rubbed up against me or our hands accidently touched for no reason. To say I was confused about the whole situation was an understatement.

  Hiding in the bathroom wasn’t solving anything, just making me more nervous. So I would try my best to ignore Corinne, already knowing I would fail.

  I walked to the row of sinks in the empty bathroom. The person staring back at me in the mirror was different from the one I saw every day. My face was red and my eyes glossy. My lips jutted out from my face, somewhat swollen and red, as if I had been passionately kissed.

  I groaned and pressed my fingers to my mouth. It had been a long time since I had been kissed with anything like passion. It was embarrassing really. Corinne had been a fabulous kisser. It was shameful how I compared every woman I kissed to her.

  But the sweetest kiss I’d ever been given was a complete surprise and more of a mistake….

  The music from the ballroom was loud enough to hear in the bathroom. After the prom king and queen had been announced, I finally escaped. I was still kicking myself for volunteering to work on the committee and acting more like a chaperone than a student who was enjoying her last days of school before graduation in a month. Then again, I hadn’t planned on going to prom, but Corinne wanted me to be there. I came just for her.

  “Damn,” I sighed, washing my hands. She had won the crown, of course, along with Chase, her date, president of the senior class, and all around good guy. At least she wasn’t a total cliché and didn’t end up dating the captain of the football team. They had started dating after winter break. Tonight, after prom, they would take their relationship to the next level. It was obvious to me what that next level would be.

  Those two had spent most of the night dancing with one another, their arms locked and their faces close together. I could only imagine what it would be like to dance with Corinne since I would never have the chance. My feelings for her went way past friendship and would never be revealed. I only had four more weeks left until—

  The bathroom door swung open, and there stood the girl who had occupied most of my thoughts this past year. Corinne looked gorgeous in her lavender strapless sweetheart gown with her hair swept into a high updo. Her plastic diamond crown perched on her head perfectly. She swayed a bit as she walked toward me, her face glowing with perspiration and a smile that made my chest sting because she was so beautiful.

  “Whitney, I’ve been looking for you!” she said in a loud voice and held out her hands.

  I stepped back, out of reach. If she touched me, I would do something that would ruin our relationship, like take her into one of the stalls and kiss her rosy lips. I grabbed a paper towel and took off my glasses to wipe the lenses.

  She clutched the edge of the sink. “Whoa, I think I’ve had too much fun tonight.”

  “Or maybe you’ve had one too many glasses of special punch?” I asked, concentrating on cleaning my lens. I’d had a glass of the rum-flavored juice that had been passed around on the sly. It wasn’t half bad, but I had cut myself off, unlike Corinne who was definitely tipsy.

  “I’m only drinking soda now,” she announced and peered in the mirror, frowning as she tried fixing the side of her hair that had come undone from her clip.

  “Congratulations on winning prom queen. You and Chase make a great couple,” I said and put my glasses back on. My throat burned from my compliment.


  “Chase is sweet. He’ll treat me well when we….” She looked at me with a hopeful expression.

  She had picked the right guy to take care of her tonight. While she finally lost her virginity, I would keep mine in the days following. Maybe even years after.

  “Everything will be great.” I smiled and tapped her arm. “I should get back out—”

  She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. “Thanks for everything, Whitney.”

  Without thinking, I turned my face toward hers and her mouth met mine. My top lip landed over her bottom one. I then pressed down with a soft suck. She gasped, and the tip of her tongue flicked my top lip. She dropped her arms, but her mouth remained on mine as she inhaled and whispered my name.

  The door opened, and we broke apart. The chattering of a group of girls shattered the silence, although the pounding of my heart in my ears blocked out their voices.

  Corinne stared at me, wide eyed in shock, her entire face one big blush.

  The girls converged on Corinne and circled her, blocking me. They shared their congratulations on her win with squeals and annoying shrieks. I darted away, unable to stay in her presence any longer. I was so shaken by what should have been an innocent kiss of friendship and nothing more.

  Flustered and turned on in a way that left me aching in places I never felt before, I found an empty stairwell and sat, hunched over my knees, waiting for my lips to stop tingling and the heaviness in my belly to disappear….

  I dropped my hand and licked my lips, the skin there sensitive and giving way to that same type of tingling sensation I experienced all those years ago. That was my first kiss, and one shared with another woman, but not my last. I always wished it had been under better circumstances, but what came after from Corinne made up for it. Unfortunately, the consequences of her later actions destroyed the beauty of it all.