Shame of It All Page 18

  “Did you watch the recording at Victus? Should you be worried?”

  He rubbed my wet hand on his cheek. The smoothness there had been replaced with some scruff. I did enjoy an unkempt Yakim, especially at night when we lost ourselves in one another, and he marked me as his.

  “I didn’t watch the recording yet. But he led me to believe someone on his staff, probably the woman who joined you and Hahn, report every dirty detail to him.”

  I cupped his cheek and stared at his eyes. Nothing noticeable floated there. No flare of anger or sadness. No regrets. He was skilled at keeping his emotions in check, even from me. He had been my teacher, and his expertise was now on display.

  “My interest in Colt is a means to an end. My only emotions involved are the ones I once had for Marina.” I lifted some bubbles and blew them at him. “My mission is almost complete. I just need a few more weeks and then I can leave.”

  “A great present for you for Christmas.” He scooped up some bubbles with his finger and dropped it on my nose.

  “I want to be gone from here before then.” I lifted my empty glass. “I need a refill.”

  “If you have more, we won’t go out for dinner.” He took my glass and stood.

  “We can order in.” I tucked my knees to my chest and laid my cheek on them. “Dessert shouldn’t be a problem for us.”

  He smiled and stared at me. I opened my legs wider to show him something special even though the bubbles covered me. Lust filled his face, reaching his eyes. Thrilled to have forced this reaction from him, I wiped away the bubbles from my chest and plucked my nipples.

  “Drinks and dinner will wait.” He undressed and joined me in the tub for a good soaking.

  ###

  “It’s snowing.” Snow fell outside my bedroom window. It was the first time both the blinds and curtains had been left open.

  “I’ve always enjoyed watching snow.” Yakim rubbed my bare ass and spread open his legs so I was situated better to lie on top of him. His penis was snug in my vagina, semi-hard, even though we just finished another lovemaking session.

  I rubbed his cheeks and chin to feel the roughness of the beginnings of a beard. By tomorrow it would be gone. For now, it kept me entertained more than the white dusting the window.

  “It’s a good thing you ordered the food before the snow started.” I nuzzled his chest with my nose.

  “Hours-old dim sum will be extremely satisfying.” His stomach released a loud gurgle.

  “I’m not ready to eat yet.” I sighed when he wrapped his arms around me. “Marina never liked the snow. She was always a warm-weather person.”

  “I came to that conclusion when she accepted your invitation to visit in the summer.”

  I folded my hands on his chest to pillow my chin as I looked at him. “Who would vacation in Russia in the winter?”

  “It wasn’t just in Russia. You asked her countless times to visit you when we were in warmer parts of Europe.” He ran his thumbs in circles near the edge of my ass. “I always found it odd she never asked you to visit her in the States.”

  “She did once. She wanted me to come to LA to celebrate her birthday. I couldn’t because it was the weekend we came here to take Grandmother to Switzerland.” I concentrated on the small dimple near the corner of his mouth. I wanted to kiss it so he would kiss me back. All conversation would cease then.

  His naughty caresses lulled me into relaxation, but even though I was pliant on top of him, he didn’t feel the same. He wasn’t as relaxed as I was, leading me to believe something was on his mind. I could ignore the need to find out what, but his comfort was as important as my own.

  “You never cared for Marina, even before she tried to steal you from me. Why?”

  He flattened his palms on my ass and spread his fingers on my cheeks, warming them since the sheet was thrown off to the side. “She didn’t love you the same way you loved her. She didn’t deserve your respect and loyalty. She was selfish.”

  “She was the complete opposite of you.” I searched his face for a reaction. Sometimes I hated how good he hid his emotions.

  “She was, but I’ve dealt with people like her many times, especially spoiled and entitled women who always wanted more.” He closed his eyes. “She used you and wanted what you had.”

  I may have worked harder at our friendship than Marina did, but her envy toward me didn’t make sense. “When she tried to seduce you, it wasn’t just because she wanted you sexually. She wanted to steal you away from me because you were mine.”

  He exhaled through his nose, something he only did when he was frustrated. “She may have wanted to fuck me or use me in some other way to benefit her. What she wanted was respectability and class. You embodied both. She never would.”

  I tried to roll off him, but he tightened his grip. Fighting with him, even if it meant drawing away from him with my body wouldn’t accomplish much. I couldn’t remember the last time we argued. We never had a fight. Being at odds over someone who was dead, even though I was here in part to avenge Marina, seemed pointless because of my strong bond with him. Reason over emotion was always the best solution to any problem.

  I kissed him and kept my lips on his. We breathed together until he loosened his hold on me and folded his arms behind his head. Everything was right between us again.

  “I didn’t return to Cartleigh just for Marina. I had to do it for myself and face the past. I think I’ve accomplished what I’ve set out to do.” I moved to the crook of his neck to inhale his musky scent.

  “You’re almost finished here. Good.” He lifted his hips to rub on me. Soon rubbing would lead to something extremely enjoyable for both of us.

  “I should be able to wrap everything up when Colt returns next week.” The recordings and paperwork Yakim possessed were enough. The final step was showing Colt what I had and what I planned to do with it.

  “When you mentioned the younger sister’s dedication to Hahn, I decided to do more research on her and her family,” he said.

  “She has a crush on Colt, and he’s probably fucking her on the side. They’re probably doing that over the holiday.” Such a cliché for a boss to screw around with his younger assistant.

  “It’s a good possibility, but my research has more do with the older sister, Karine.”

  I paused nuzzling his chest. The insinuation was subtle but enough for me to guess what his research about Karine entailed.

  “Your eyelashes are tickling me. I’ve caught you by surprise.” He petted my hair.

  “What you have is recent?” I pressed my cheek to his stomach and lowered my hand between his thighs.

  He grunted and raised his hips while I played with him. “I’ll tell you this information because it is…how do you say—juicy? Then you can decide what you would like to do with it.”

  “Knowledge is power, so tell me everything.” I shifted down until my face was over his engorged penis. “I’ll thank you in my own unique way while you tell me.”

  He sighed out my name as my mouth met his flesh. He then gave me an incredible gift while I did the same to him.

  ###

  The inside of the Lexus was too warm for my taste, but it was to be expected since it was late November and snow covered the ground. It had snowed Wednesday night into Friday. Three days later, a good coating of snow remained, but Cartleigh was as active as ever based on the open businesses. Yakim parked across from the bistro on Main Street where I would meet Karine for lunch.

  “Why do Americans decorate for Christmas so early?” He viewed a worker adding a wreath with a red bow to a lamppost. At the end of the street, more wreaths decorated lampposts, and a Douglas fir tree had been set up in front of the town hall. The tree-lighting ceremony would happen later this week.

  “Didn’t your mother start decorating for Christmas last week?”

  “She decorates early because it pleases my father.” He rested his arm behind me. “She does it to make up for the lack of Christmas celebrations
Father had as a child.”

  Yakim and Maks had very different childhoods from their father. They never worried about money or where their next meal came from. Some would say they were entitled because they were given so much, but they never took for granted what they had been given from their parents.

  “I admire your mother so much.” I stroked his cheek and moved to kiss him, but then I caught Karine entering the restaurant.

  “She’s early.” I hoped she would arrive first so she would get settled and comfortable. It would make things easier when we discussed Colt, her sister, and why she was still so involved with Colt even after she quit their relationship after so many years together.

  “Only by ten minutes. Wait a few more minutes and then see her.” He turned on the radio, and jazz filled the car.

  “Not in the mood to listen to Christmas music?” I focused on the document holder on my lap, ready to go through the photos and documents one last time.

  He set his hands on mine and squeezed. “Don’t be nervous. I’ll come inside after I make a few phone calls.”

  “I’m not nervous. I can handle Karine and any emotional outburst or insults she might throw my way.” I lifted his hand and kissed his knuckles. “The only thing I can’t anticipate is what she’ll do after our lunch meeting. She may go straight to Colt.”

  “I’ll place a friendly bet with you she doesn’t go to Hahn first but talks to her sister. Then she will talk to her husband.” He rubbed my lips. “She’ll want to protect herself and her family before Hahn.”

  “By tomorrow, Colt’s entire world will be turned upside down.” The tension expanding in my stomach while in the car changed to an almost-ecstatic feeling I associated with sex. “It’s time for me to go.”

  “Be safe, Milost.” He clasped my chin and kissed me, leaving me breathless. I only regained my full breath until after I left the car and entered the bistro, spotting Karine at a corner table. She talked on her cell while tapping on her iPad.

  A woman like Karine should be admired. She embodied the all-American life most aspire to have. She juggled her career and personal life as a wife and mother. She was also respected in her community. From an early age, she had been offered so much to make her exceed in life. She was a true success story. But now I was going to take some of her triumphs away because she had been too complicit. She may have not been responsible for Colt’s actions, but she was well aware what type of person he was. She would be considered collateral damage, and the evil part of me fueled by hate would relish some of the pain she would absorb. Her life could have been mine, should have been mine.

  I checked my coat, and, without waiting for a host to direct me to Karine, I made my way to her, walking slower than usual, allowing the patrons to notice. I’d dressed for the occasion in a charcoal power suit Yakim had bought me. It screamed dominance and confidence, unlike Karine in her lackluster cream cowl-neck belted dress.

  I reached the table and stood behind the chair across from her. I didn’t announce my presence. I waited for her to do so. She stopped speaking to whomever was on the phone when she finally deigned to notice me.

  “Hello, Karine.” I set the folder on the table but waited to take the seat.

  She blinked a few times as she stared at me. “Honey, let me go…yes, I’ll call you after.” She ended her call and gave me a friendly smile. “Mercy. You’re having lunch here, also?”

  “I’m having lunch with you. Mr. Zeldovich invited me to join. He’s running late.” I pulled out the chair and sat.

  She played with her wedding band, showing her confusion, and perhaps a touch of anxiety since she was caught unaware at my addition to the table.

  “He told you why he’s meeting with me?” More twisting of her ring.

  “My main role in Alzmeya may be contract negotiations, but another role I hold is Mr. Zeldovich’s assistant. I’ve been his assistant and personal lawyer for over ten years.” I perused the wine and beer menu. “But I’ve known him for longer. We met in college.”

  “I didn’t know that.” She dropped her hands on her lap.

  “I’m not just a dedicated employee but a close friend to him and his family.” I smiled and stroked the folder lovingly.

  “It’s good for women like us to have friends in high places.” She winked, and when the server stopped at the table, she asked for a bottle of their house merlot.

  When the server left, she tilted her head to the side. “My apologies for ordering drinks without asking you for your opinion. I assumed you liked merlot since the last time we saw one another, you drank red wine.”

  “You have a great memory. I’ll have a glass with you.”

  “Will Mr. Zeldovich want a glass, also, or should we drink before he comes?” She glanced past my shoulder as if Yakim would appear.

  “He likes wine, but he’s your stereotypical Russian. He prefers anything with vodka in it.”

  “How long is he staying? Or could it be a good sign the contracts will finally be signed?” She leaned in close, and her smile widened. “Maybe this week?”

  Poor woman really was fooled, along with the town, that Yakim would sign any contract. He would be on a plane to Saint Petersburg as soon as I finished with Colt, leaving Cartleigh without a deal and millions lost in revenue and any future jobs that would have come along with the partnership.

  “Things are nearly finished. But he can tell you himself.” I nodded in thanks when the server poured a drop of wine in our glasses. “I will say, and please don’t be offended, but why would he meet with you regarding Colt’s possible run for senator? Shouldn’t he meet with Colt? But what can Mr. Zeldovich bring to the table since he lives in Russia?” I sipped my wine as she drank the small portion in her glass and then poured more.

  “He got in touch with my office to offer some names, all US based, of course, who might be interested in helping Colt. Your boss has many connections here and across the globe.” She sniffed her wine and lifted her glass toward mine. “Cheers.”

  I kept my glass away. I refused to act chummy with her. She was an opportunist who sacrificed those she cared about to get ahead. She was as bad as Colt. She made sure to keep her hooks in him while she duped another man, her husband. It would be interesting to see if Brody stayed married to her once he found out about her lies, which may end up hurting their daughters.

  “He knows many people, much like his father and older brother. But Colt has many connections, also. Why would he want something from my boss who’s born and raised in another country the US has been at odds with for half a century?” I set my glass down and wiped the corners of my mouth. “Colton should be very careful with whom he associates with.”

  “Colt is a big boy who can take care of himself. He has many people he trusts who look out for him.” She curled her hand under her elbow while still holding her glass. She was the type who wouldn’t have a problem with throwing the wine at me if I did become insulting. But it would be a small price to pay to accomplish my goals.

  “Brody is a good person to have in his corner, but I don’t understand why you let Agnes go off with Colt to DC for Thanksgiving and not you or your husband.” I flicked the corner of the folder, tempted to open it and show my hand. But I needed patience. “You have that much trust in to her to protect Colt?”

  “Agnes is a grown woman who Colt treats like a sister. She was the one to decide to travel with him and over Thanksgiving instead of spending it with her family.” Karine drank more of her wine.

  “Your sister is very dedicated to him, always has been. Did it start when you and Colt were together in high school or after you broke up so she would have chance with him?” I shifted to the side to cross my legs and perch my chin on my fist.

  Some of the red hue on her cheeks from the wine vanished as she understood my statement. “Are you accusing—”

  “I know she has it bad for Colt and I don’t think it’s a crush. They’ve had a long-term sexual relationship, probably while he was with Mari
na, maybe even before that.” I dipped my finger in my wine and licked the liquid away. “The type of man Colt is would have started fucking your sister when she was a teenager.”

  She lurched back in her chair and squeaks came from her mouth. “How dare you-you—”

  “I dare because he almost ruined my life. The one thing saving you right now is you had no clue what he did to me after high school graduation.” I traced the rim of my wineglass instead of breaking it. “Unless you know.”

  “What, he did to you?” She shook her head and released a sad laugh. “You were one of many who sucked his cock or let him pop your cherry because you thought you were something special to him. The joke is on you because you’re nothing to him.” She rolled her shoulders back and drew her gaze over my face. “It must burn you he settled on Marina and not you.”

  “I never wanted to be with him after school. I had better offers than some pathetic small-town golden boy who will be forgotten as soon as he dies.” I flipped open the folder then. “The most Colt will have is mayor of this shit town. He will never be senator or have a shot at anything greater. He has too many skeletons in his closet, and most of them are within the last few years.”

  “What are you accusing him of?” She glanced at the open folder and the picture of her with Colt who held her daughter Briella.

  “I have a gift for you so you know what to expect. I didn’t come here to attack you or ruin your life. You did it all yourself with the bad decisions you made. You apparently don’t give a shit about your sister or husband.” I slid the folder to her. “The reason my boss set up a meeting with you is because of me. He’s helping me take care of unfinished business in order to heal from the ordeal Colt put me through twenty years ago.”

  She swallowed and licked her lips, eyeing the folder in fear. “What did he do to you?”

  “He raped me at the lake the Saturday night after graduation. He did it to punish me because he blamed me for not getting into Amherst. This was after months of helping him cheat on tests and writing essays while he strung me along, making me believe he loved me.” I took a sip of my water since my mouth became dry from the wine. “While he was with you, he fooled around on you with me, and I guess he fooled around on us with other girls.”