Shine On Read online

  I’d never told her the full story about me and Ivy. I guess Kenji hadn’t either. Scarlett was easy to talk to, but I didn’t want to add another person in the mix and have them analyze me like some scientific experiment.

  My cell pinged with a text, saving me from answering. Posey also had tickets for Scarlett’s show as part of some bachelorette party for one of her friends. Talk about another complication in all of this. She and I had texted but had yet to talk about the night of the hall of fame dinner and the consequences of Ivy’s singing stunt

  “I should grab the table you reserved for Kenji and me.” I rose from the couch, anxious to sit in the dark and listen to Scarlett sing some show tunes. At least for a few hours I could ignore the outside world.

  “We’ll talk more after my show.” Scarlett stood and shimmied her hips. “I can’t believe tonight is sold out.” Her beaming smile made me give her one back.

  “I’m excited to hear your set. You’ve added some newer songs?” I gave her a good luck hug, which she returned.

  “You’ll have to wait and see. I might have some surprises in store.” With an exaggerated wink, she opened the door.

  “You’re going to sing one of Ivy’s songs.” I swallowed back a sigh.

  The rosy color on her cheeks deepened. “Just one, but with my own spin on it.”

  “Did you add it to your set because of what Ivy did this week?”

  “I seized the moment.”

  “I guess I can’t blame you for taking advantage of the opportunity. If not you, someone else would.” I sent her a small wave and walked toward the door.

  “At least I’m not going to bring you up on stage and sing to you,” Scarlett called out with a definite laugh in her voice.

  ***

  An hour into Scarlett’s set, I was chill. Kenji bopped his head and snapped his fingers along with almost every song she sang. I lost myself in the music and in Scarlett’s voice. This was the most relaxed I had been in weeks.

  She had mixed in some newer songs from the last decade, but had yet to sing one of Ivy’s. Since her show ran ninety minutes, I expected her to belt out “Forgiveness” or “Losing Time,” the last hit single from Ivy’s debut album.

  Scarlett just finished singing a Broadway hit. The majority of the audience gave her a standing ovation. Kenji and I joined in. I caught Posey and her group doing the same a few tables over. She waved. I waved back. I’d stopped at her table before the show started and promised to have a drink with her later.

  Scarlett rushed off the stage for her one costume change, and her pianist played some familiar Broadway tunes. Everyone took their seats and soon clapped and sang along. They whistled when Scarlett came out in a short pink strapless sweetheart dress.

  She curtsied and blew kisses, playing up the audience with a few extra winks and waves.

  “She’s incredible,” Kenji said and stuck two fingers into his mouth to whistle also.

  We were the front table, right in her line of vision. She wagged her finger at him as she moved the microphone to her mouth.

  “Thank you all, so much! You’ve been a wonderful audience, one of the best,” she said in a more booming voice than her usual smoky timbre. “Tonight is the first time since I’ve started performing at the Serendipity that it’s a sold-out show. For those who have seen me perform before, and I hope there are a few here tonight, my wonderful pianist and I usually sing a duet together, but tonight I have a special guest joining me. I’m pleased to welcome Ivy Falls!”

  The crowd went crazy with applause. The world fell out from under my feet.

  “Did you know about this?” I nudged Kenji in the side as I growled at him.

  He shook his head, staring straight ahead. “I didn’t have a clue. I promise you.”

  Ivy strolled out, dressed in head-to-toe leather. Scarlett gripped the microphone, wide-eyed as Ivy embraced her.

  I grabbed my purse, ready to get the hell out there, but Kenji snagged my wrist. “If you leave now, Ivy might call you out in front of all these people, maybe even bring you on stage. I don’t think you want that to happen.”

  Knowing Ivy, she would do it, perhaps even come down from the stage and get me to join her and Scarlett. Taking his advice, I remained in my seat, but slouched lower, as if I could hide from her view.

  Ivy didn’t act as if I sat at the table in the front, right smack in the middle. The lights must have been blinding.

  “Hello, Las Vegas!” Ivy shouted to the crowd, who cheered with excitement.

  Scarlett vibrated with energy, but she stayed by the piano, letting Ivy take over.

  “I hope you don’t mind me interrupting Scarlett’s show,” Ivy said. “Since I’ll be headlining at the Deus down the street in March, I wanted to visit Scarlett and see her in action so she could give me a few pointers.”

  The audience tittered over Ivy’s humor. Kenji even did his typical snort laugh. I kept my lips together and my arms crossed, refusing to enjoy her surprise visit.

  “My new album is coming out in a few weeks. I’ve been popping up all over Vegas, giving my fans a preview of some of the songs on the album.” Ivy paced the length of the stage while she talked, making me wonder if she was nervous. She usually remained still, plucking at her guitar, but in this case, she held a microphone.

  “A few days ago, I held an impromptu concert in front of the Bellagio, which many seemed to enjoy, especially the tabloids.” She grimaced and shuddered, causing the audience to laugh.

  If I slouched any lower in my seat, I would have been under the table. Not wanting to end up with a crick in my back, I straightened. Kenji set his palm on my knee and squeezed.

  “Stay cool,” he said, still keeping his eyes on the stage.

  “Easy for you to say.” I finished off the rest of my drink then started chomping on the ice cubes.

  “Ivy, you’re a Vegas girl born and raised, right?” Scarlett asked as she sat at the piano and tickled the keys.

  “Yup, I’m a proud Vegas native.” Ivy lifted her fist in the air, and some voices from the audience hooted and screamed, “Vegas.”

  Scarlett began playing in earnest while Ivy came to stand by the piano. The tune I recognized. It was from Ivy’s second album, a duet she did with Billie Layne.

  “How well do you know the words to ‘That Heart is Mine’?” Ivy asked Scarlett.

  The audience again cheered in anticipation for what the women would sing.

  “Well enough, but nothing compared to Billie.” Scarlett played the chorus on the piano.

  “Watch Billie Layne walk out and join them,” I muttered under my breath.

  Kenji squeezed my knee again.

  Ivy braced her elbows on top of the piano as Scarlett took over Billie’s role in the song, giving it a unique spin because her voice was much deeper.

  The audience grew silent as Scarlett’s voice spread over the room, the lyrics calling out to us all because it was a melancholy melody about memories and the past.

  When Ivy joined in, the song really shone. I couldn’t help myself and sang along with her like the rest of the audience.

  At one point, Ivy moved to the center of the stage, staring ahead, her eyes bright as she sang the chorus with Scarlett. I stared up at her, thinking she was one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen, her voice like an angel’s. I let all my anger and frustration go and enjoyed the music and the song both Ivy and Scarlett gifted us with.

  Then it ended, and the audience gave them a standing ovation.

  Kenji and I did the same. Ivy held her fist to her chest and nodded, only to stop to blow me a kiss and then set her fist back to her chest. I didn’t pretend to grab for it but did curl my one arm around my waist, overwhelmed with emotion.

  Ivy recovered quickly while I swallowed and breathed through my nose. I would have left to use the bathroom, but then Scarlett stood and let Ivy take her place at the piano.

  “I wrote ‘That Heart is Mine’ for my parents who shared a wonder
ful love that ended when my father killed himself.” She lowered her head and set her fingers on the keys. The entire showroom quieted, even though it was common knowledge about her father. “My new album, Burning Apart, coming out in October, has some songs dealing with loss, but also a few that balance out the pain with joy and harmony. Burning Apart is a departure from my past albums, but still has that Ivy Falls sound you can’t get enough of.” She tapped a familiar tune on the keys. She was going to sing “Jewel.”

  She turned her head toward the audience. “I’m going to play you a melody of a few songs from my new album. The first is called ‘Jewel,’ and my favorite song of all.”

  “Even more than ‘Something to Me’?” Scarlett asked and sat on a stool next to the piano.

  Ivy stared in my direction, and smiled. “‘Jewel’ is the song of my heart. The person it’s dedicated to has a special place in my heart also. I just hope she understands how deep.”

  The audience released a few aahs and then applauded. Ivy began to sing.

  I closed my eyes, allowing her words to touch me in a way they hadn’t before. It was the second time I was hearing the song, but I already knew it so well.

  When Ivy’s voice intensified in the second chorus, something broke inside of me. It wasn’t bad, but a realization. In order for me to move on from the grief I had blamed Ivy for, I had to let it go.

  By the time Ivy finished singing “Jewel” and moved on to her newest material, I’d let it all go, exactly like Ivy did with each word she sang.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  “You’re Jewel. I mean the person Ivy mentions in the song,” Posey said and sipped her cosmo.

  “Looks like it.” I also sipped my club soda, no longer interested in drinking alcohol. After Scarlett’s concert ended, Posey had invited me for a drink in the lounge outside the venue, surrounded by the sounds of the slot machines and people cheering at the tables. It was just us since Kenji took Posey’s friends backstage to meet Scarlett, and probably Ivy also.

  “Ivy is your one who got away.” Posey lowered her glass to her lap and stared down at it, her hair curtaining her face.

  I was tempted to brush her hair aside, but it was something a lover or close friend did. I had been Posey’s lover for a short time, but not long enough to feel comfortable touching her in such a way, especially with Ivy between us.

  “Yes,” I whispered, setting my glass on the table.

  Posey clasped one of my hands. “I don’t think I ever told you, but our senior year of high school, I wanted to ask you out on a date. I didn’t care when my group of friends thought. But every time I wanted to ask you out, I stopped. Because of Ivy. It was obvious to me even back then how much in love you were with one another. The way you looked at each other and always were touching or holding hands…god, I wanted that kind of love for myself.”

  “You deserve that type of love. But”—I hated myself for what I was about to do—“I can’t love you the way you want.”

  “Even if Ivy wasn’t back in the picture, you could never love me like you loved her.” She released my hand. “No one else will come close to her.”

  “Why aren’t you raking me over the coals?” If I were in her shoes, I would have given me the third degree and stormed away. Maybe thrown my drink in my own face first.

  “Because fighting for a future with you is a lost cause?” Posey opened her small clutch and took out a clip. She fastened her hair back, revealing the disappointment on her face. “I enjoyed the time we shared together, but you always held back. At first, I thought it was because you didn’t have much experience with women, but then I noticed the sad expression on your face even when you were supposed to be happy.”

  I winced, not because she assumed I didn’t have much sexual experience, but because she knew she couldn’t make me happy, even when we were intimate, which was most of the time we were together. “I’m so sorry. I feel like total shit.”

  She didn’t volunteer any more comfort in a form of hand holding or even a sympathetic grunt. She just nodded and then pulled out her compact from her clutch to inspect her face.

  “I’d better rejoin my friends before they leave without me. The bride-to-be is probably over the moon meeting Scarlett and….” She shut her compact with a loud snap and wiggled her nose. “Ivy Falls.”

  “You’re sure you’re okay? I would still like to be friends.” The offer was authentic, but the subtle twitch in Posey’s shoulders told me she wouldn’t accept.

  “That would be nice. I’ll call or text you the next time I’m free to hang out,” she said, keeping a neutral expression in place. Standing, she tugged down the hem of her skirt. “Do I look like I’m ready for a night on the town?” She curled the ends of her hair around two fingers.

  “You look like a million bucks. Maybe you’ll get lucky and win big at the tables.” She wouldn’t have any problem finding someone else to enjoy or connect with.

  “I’m owed it.” Her stiff smile didn’t reach her eyes. “I’ll see you around.”

  She left with a more of a swagger than usual, making her ponytail swing as she walked down the aisle, past the slot machines and then out of sight.

  She didn’t leave money for her drink, but it didn’t bother me. The least I could do was pay since I’d ended our relationship. I threw a few bills on the table then took out my cell to text Kenji. He would probably stay with Scarlett into the wee hours of the morning. If so, I would find a car to drive me home. Sending off the text, I rose, trying to decide what my next plan of action would be. Maybe I would lose myself in the hum of the casino and press my luck with the slots.

  But I wouldn’t play alone. Ivy stood at the base of the stairs leading to the lounge. She wore jeans and one of those faded T-shirts with some rock band logo in the middle. Her face was free of makeup, her hair in an understated ponytail. She usually wore some type of flashy clip or barrette when she wore her hair back. But not this time. I guess she was going incognito.

  I waited for her to come to me. She climbed the stairs, as if she had all the time in the world. I tapped my foot and went to hug my chest but lowered my arms to my side.

  “Did you enjoy the show?” she asked when she came to a halt on the opposite side of the table.

  “You and Scarlett have great chemistry together. She didn’t tell me you were performing with her.” I was still annoyed at Scarlett for keeping her guest a secret after everything that had happened this week with me and Ivy.

  “There’s no reason to be jealous of me and Scarlett—”

  I laughed. “You think I’m jealous of Scarlett? She’s only interested in men, mainly Kenji. You must have noticed how close they are when you hung out with them after the show.”

  “I was busy chatting with a bride and her party of excited women.” Ivy pursed her lips, her gaze on the two glasses on the table. “Posey wasn’t with them.”

  “She was with me. We had a drink together.” I grabbed the back of the booth for support. “We decided we’re better as friends.”

  “Oh?” Her eyes widened in surprise. “So you and she.…”

  “We started dating a few weeks ago, right before you got back to town. After your performance tonight and hearing your new songs, specifically ‘Jewel,’ she feels she can’t compete.”

  “Compete for what?” Ivy moved to my side.

  I dug my nails into the cushion. “For my heart. Even if I never wanted anything more from you, she knew I would never be fully invested in her. She would always be second best. It’s not fair to her.”

  Ivy sighed and closed her eyes. “The night of your father’s funeral after we…fought, I returned to LA. I almost broke up with Billie for the exact same reason. But then I gave excuses why I shouldn’t. Finally, when the guilt became too much, I told her we should only be friends. I adored her, but I was using her. It wasn’t fair to her, or you.”

  I released the hold on the booth, even though my legs wobbled. “But you kept up appearances in public that
you and Billie were a couple for longer.”

  She opened her eyes. “It suited both of us to continue to facade and show the world what they wanted to see because we could focus on our music.” A flag of red lit her cheeks. “I can’t speak for Billie, but there hasn’t been anyone else for me since we broke up.”

  “You’ve been….” I waved my hand around, trying to find the correct word.

  “One hundred percent abstinent, except for self-loving.”

  I laughed so hard I think I pulled a muscle near my stomach. More color flared on Ivy’s face.

  “Oh my god, the great Ivy Falls is embarrassed,” I said through my giggles.

  “Not at all. I love hearing you laugh.” Her eyes lit up.

  “You’re not alone…I mean I was with Posey, but that was after five years of a lot of self-loving.” My face warmed, but I wasn’t as uncomfortable like I usually was when talking about sex with others.

  “Five years is a long time.” She shifted toward me, her arm brushing mine.

  Tingles shot down my hand from her touch. “Yes, it is. Too long.”

  “What are—”

  A loud siren went off behind us. Two women jumped up and down in front of the lit machine, and a robotic voice repeated winner.

  “Someone won a big jackpot,” I indicated, now anxious to try my luck at my favorite slot machine. “Right before you stopped by, I was going to play one of the slots. Want to join me?”

  “Sure. It’s been awhile since I’ve played.” She held out her hand for me.

  I drew out a twenty dollar bill instead of taking her hand. “Off to the quarter slots.”

  When I moved out, Ivy followed me. She was silent for some reason. I was fine with it because I was on a mission to win money. We passed the two women who had won a nice sum. They hugged and kissed. The majority of people ignored them probably more absorbed with their technique of hitting a button in the hopes of winning their own big prize.

  Anticipation bubbled inside of me as I notice my favorite slot machine was vacant. It was next to two others, but I always chose the one on the far left. I parked my butt in the seat, and Ivy did the same next to me. I inserted my club card and the twenty dollar bill. The machine roared to life.