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  “Father did the best as a widower with three unruly boys. At least Lance and I knew Mother, if only for a short time. Jude was far too young,” Isaiah said in a reflective, almost muted tone. He shook his head, and a playful light came to his eyes. “Enough of this dreary talk. Today is to celebrate love.” He took her hands in his warm grip. “These past few months with you have been wonderful. I’m so glad you’ve returned. I hope we can be close again.”

  But without David between us. They had always been together with others around. But, recently, he’d recommended they take walks, just the two of them, or sit with each other alone in a room with the door closed. If she didn’t know better, she would say he courted her.

  “Isaiah, I—”

  “Now with your mourning coming to an end, you can buy a new wardrobe and throw out those dour dresses like the one you’re wearing.” He held out her arms and inspected her. “I want you to wear bright colors like pinks and yellow. You’re always so pretty in yellow.”

  “Isaiah—”

  He pressed his finger to her mouth. “There’s no sense in arguing. I know what’s best. I’ve already talked to Cornelia, and she agrees your grief isn’t good for your constitution. You’ve lost too much weight.” He ogled her chest.

  “I appreciate the concern—”

  “We’re all concerned for your welfare.” He kissed her knuckles. “It will be my mission to make you laugh and smile again.”

  “Something we all can agree on,” Maria, the bride, spoke.

  She stared past Isaiah’s shoulder, catching sight of her former lover. The bride’s white silk gown showed off her curves and petite frame perfectly, her hair styled in an up-do with diamond pins and curls framing her face. A diamond rhinestone necklace decorated her neck and rested near the top of her bosom. She had once touched Maria’s breasts and her raspberry-colored nipples without the restrains of her corset and chemise. She also had tasted many places elsewhere on the woman’s body one summer afternoon a little more than two years ago.

  She blinked at Isaiah when he touched her cheek. Curiosity floated in his piercing eyes.

  She welcomed greeting the new bride as an excuse to step aside. “Hello, Maria. What are you doing out here?” She rubbed her arms, although not cold. “Where’s your husband?”

  “Luis is smoking cigars with his father and brothers. I noticed you and Isaiah slipped out and wanted to join you.”

  She wanted to correct Maria’s assumption she welcomed Isaiah’s company, but he might agree with Maria and she would look like a fool. She remained silent while Isaiah congratulated Maria on her nuptials. Maria smiled, flashing the dimple in her left cheek, and grasped her hands.

  “I’m so happy you both attended my wedding. It means the world to me for you to be here.” Maria stared straight at Julia while she spoke, her smile full of cheer but a layer of nervousness in her eyes.

  They’d last spoken the day before she and her family left for Flaundia. Maria had broken down in tears, rejecting Julia’s pleas to remain friends, claiming it best if they cut off all ties. She had begged her to reconsider, but she refused.

  “Isaiah, Claudine is dying to dance with you.” Maria still kept Julia’s hands captive. “Would you be a dear and take a turn with my little sister?”

  He planted his palm on his heart. “I would love to dance the reel with the sweet Claudine. She’ll soon be sixteen, correct?”

  “Yes. She has the biggest crush on you, old man.”

  Maria’s tinkling laugh traveled all the way to her toes. She wished she had the same delightful laugh. Hers sounded like a cross between a horse neighing and a cat screeching.

  Isaiah tapped Maria under the chin and then studied Julia, the tip of his tongue wetting his bottom lip. She inspected the ground, waiting for him to leave.

  “I hope you and your mother are free tomorrow. I have wonderful news to share.”

  She peered back at him. He had a triumphant air to him. He always enjoyed having something important to reveal.

  “Should we expect you for tea?” she asked, not entirely welcoming.

  “You can count on it.” He rubbed her back, and after a loud kiss on her cheek and a wink at Maria, he strode in the hall.

  Maria finally dropped Julia’s hands. Her fingers tingled, and she rubbed her palms together.

  Maria tilted her head to the side. “I’ve wanted to talk to you since your return, but I’ve been busy with wedding preparations. It’s why I haven’t responded to the two notes you sent.”

  A lie. She hadn’t wanted to talk before her marriage. But what would be the point in correcting her otherwise? She had made her intentions clear the last time they spoke, which led to their argument.

  “Now you’re free to speak, during your reception?” She hugged her arms to her chest.

  “I have a time to chat. The reason I haven’t asked you to visit me is because I feared we would end up fighting or—”

  “Or what? Falling on one another and making passionate love on your drawing room floor?”

  A blush spread on Maria’s cheeks, and she twisted her wedding band around. “Either. We spent an incredible afternoon together, but what we shared then will never happen again.”

  “Why? Because engaging in sexual acts together are unnatural and wicked?” Her voice cracked.

  “Because of David. You committed adultery on your husband. Did you stop and think how he would feel if he found out about us?”

  She had to live with her sin every day. One small mistake on her part and she had destroyed a good man who adored her. If only she had been stronger and not fallen into temptation.

  “You’re right. I kissed you first, and I didn’t stop when you told me to.” She rubbed away at the ache in her chest but to no avail.

  “I didn’t want you to stop. I liked it. I enjoyed your mouth on mine and your hands on my body.” Maria’s face reddened.

  “I seduced you,” she whispered.

  Maria lifted her arms but then dropped them when Julia shook her head and backed away to stand behind David’s grave.

  “Please don’t be angry at me for asking, but I must know. Do you think David killed himself because he found out about us?” Maria asked in a hushed voice.

  David had never accused her of being unfaithful, only questioning her love for him. Their marriage had started to crumble for those reasons. His lack of self-esteem, combined with her viper of a sister’s objective of making her miserable, eroded his trust, the final nail in the coffin the letters Ramona wrote to David, expressing her “concerns” about Julia having a lover. She only learned about them, when Ramona admitted everything in order to hurt her. After Ramona had been committed to the asylum, she searched through her things and found the letters. David’s broke her heart, his words of fear and shame at not being a man she respected and admired. She had been sick for days afterward, almost considering a way out; much like David had done when he hung himself.

  “I’ll never know if he killed himself because he thought I had been unfaithful.” So many other factors led him to ending his life. The urgency for her acceptance and her love consumed him, so much so he’d descended into a dark place, refusing to recover even when she tried giving him what he wanted.

  Maria bowed her head. “David is in my prayers. You, as well.”

  All the prayers in the world wouldn’t save her, but it gave her some comfort that Maria still thought of her in a kind manner.

  “You pray for our souls?” she asked lightly, hoping she hid her yearning for some type of salvation.

  “Yes. A little prayer can go a long way.” Maria took a pink peony from her hair and laid it next to the flower Julia had set down.

  “When did you become so religious?” she asked, thinking back to all the times Maria skipped church.

  “I found my faith because of Luis.” Maria’s eyes sparkled with joy. “I met him at a baptism. Our eyes met across the pew, and I was struck silent. Like a scene from those frivolous roman
ce novels we used to read. When he introduced himself and smiled, I knew I’d found the one I’d been searching for my entire life. As silly as it sounds, I fell in love with him as soon as he told me his name.”

  A sharp pang pierced Julia’s chest. She’d never had such a powerful emotional for another like Maria had for her husband. She had wished for a romantic love as a young girl. She cared for many, had a fondness for David, and a strong sexual attraction for Maria, but nothing that constituted passionate love.

  “I’m happy you found true love with Luis. I wish you both the best,” she said in truth.

  When Maria lay her hand on Julia’s arm, Julia kept still. Maria would never touch her in such a way again.

  “I’ll always cherish you as a friend, and all we shared together.”

  “After today, we won’t see one another again,” she said.

  Maria sighed and dropped her hand away. “Luis and I will be going on a month-long honeymoon. We’re traveling the continent, and I don’t think I’ll have time to write. After we come home, I’ll be busy decorating our new house and—”

  “I’ll be in Flaundia with my parents, unless I can convince my grandparents to let me live with them.” She stared at Maria, waiting to see what her response would be.

  Maria linked her arm through Julia’s. “We should go back inside.”

  She nodded and walked alongside Maria and out of the small cemetery. She glanced at David’s grave and silently told him goodbye.

  “I think it’s best if you establish new friendships in Flaundia. There are too many sad memories here for you,” Maria said as they left the cemetery. “I also want to be the best possible wife for Luis, and I’m afraid—”

  “You’re afraid if I stay, I’ll tempt you like the last time.”

  Maria dipped her chin in answer.

  The ache in her chest intensified. She didn’t want Maria to suffer. She would give Maria up and throw aside the unrealistic fantasy she had once longed for.

  She took Maria’s hands. “I won’t live with my grandparents. Perhaps you’re right. It’s time for me to move on and find new friends elsewhere.”

  Maria’s lips trembled, and she wiped a stray tear from her cheek. “Another man you can love and build a new life with will come along and sweep you off your feet.”

  With a stiff nod, she entered the hall. Maria came up to her side but didn’t touch her. Both women moved forward and viewed the couples dancing a jig.

  Isaiah swung Maria’s sister around in a circle, and she giggled as she passed them. He mouthed, You’re next to Julia, and then circled Claudine again in his arms.

  She scanned the room for someone to talk to in order to beg off dancing with Isaiah. She spotted Jude near the fireplace, cornered by three young women who talked his ear off. He tugged on his cravat, and his eyes locked with hers, begging to be rescued.

  “I think I’ll save poor Jude before he expires on the spot from the Strauss sisters. If he’s not careful, he’ll end up engaged before the night is over.” She hoped Maria would join her so they would have more time together.

  A dreamy look came over Maria’s face. Across the room, her husband motioned for her to join him.

  “My husband wants me,” she whispered in longing.

  So this is it, then? She studied Maria one last time. Later in her bed, she would mourn the loss of their friendship and what might have been.

  Maria nudged Julia with her hip and presented her a sly look Julia recognized all too well. Maria had a secret to share.

  “It’s not my place to say, and Isaiah would be irritated if he found out I told you, but I can’t keep it to myself any longer.” She lowered her voice and stared at the dancers. “He told me your father has offered him a position in Flaundia as his under-sheriff. Jude will join him there as well. They plan to expand their exporting business, and since Flaundia has one of the busiest ports on the coast, they feel they would increase their income drastically.” She sent Julia a pleased look. “How wonderful for you!”

  “Wonderful?” She shook her head in confusion. Father offered Isaiah a job? Why would Isaiah leave his lofty position as sheriff and as one of the most respected men in town?

  Maria peeked at Julia from the corner of her eye while she swayed to the music. “Maybe Isaiah can help you with your grief. I think David would approve of his cousin and you finding comfort with one other.”

  Stunned, tears came to her eyes when Maria kissed her cheek and said goodbye. She rushed to her husband and embraced him, planting a kiss on his mouth, to the delight of those around them. The music increased in tempo, and this time, when Isaiah whirled around, he grinned and winked at her in a roguish way that made her knees lock together, but not in a good way.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Once again, Julia woke up exhausted and bleary-eyed. Ever since Maria’s wedding a few days ago, she rarely slept and couldn’t bear to be around company. But it didn’t stop her mother from visiting their neighbors and playing hostess to Isaiah and Jude, who she invited to dinner almost every night before they left for Flaundia.

  Isaiah’s news about moving to Flaundia and working for her father had left her disconcerted, especially when he explained he’d accepted the position because of her. Maria had been correct in surmising he wanted to comfort her, and their tentative friendship one he wanted to reshape into something more unique. He regarded her, much like Luis had stared at Maria…as a man in love—and in lust—with his wife.

  She blocked out any more thoughts of Isaiah and winced as she shifted in her seat. She hated traveling by carriage, unlike Mother, who hummed while doing her cross-stitch. She had been humming for hours. She could no longer stand the incessant noise.

  “Can you please cease with the humming? It makes my head hurt.” She pressed her fingers to the sides of her head to alleviate the pressure there.

  Her mother finished off a stitch. “Ever since we left Deerhirst you’ve been more cankerous than usual. Have your menses arrived?”

  She shot her mother a disgruntled look. “No.”

  Mother set aside her embroidery. “Perhaps you’re cranky because of your separation from Isaiah. You’ll see him by the end of the week.”

  She bit the inside of her cheek to stop from correcting Mother. She didn’t have any interest in Isaiah or his attempts at a possible courtship. She wanted to keep him at arm’s length. He reminded her too much of her past with David and all her regrets. After Maria’s rejection, she refused to open herself up to any more heartbreak. She wanted to be left alone.

  “I’m homesick, and I miss Father.” She hoped her excuse would mollify her mother.

  “I miss him dreadfully. It will be wonderful to see him again. We’ve never been separated this long.” Mother peered out the window as they made their way up the drive to the estate.

  She thought back to what her grandmother said about her parents loving one another. When the carriage came to a stop, Mother patted her hair, fixed the lace on her bodice, and, without waiting for the footman to open the door, she threw it open and hopped out.

  She collected her mother’s cross stitch and her bag and stepped down from the carriage. Her parents embraced and shared kisses. Father cupped Mother’s face and stared at her in adoration. Her mother rested her palm on her father’s cheek. He laughed and hugged her tightly.

  Her parents rarely shared such affections, let alone in public and for the staff to see. But she didn’t mind their display. It had been so long since there had been happiness in the Veiga household because of Ramona’s institutionalization.

  Her father, whom many considered one of the most commanding and imposing men in all the land, held out his arms. She rushed to him, swept up in a welcoming hug.

  * * *

  “I can’t eat another bite!” Mother patted her mouth with her napkin. She nodded in approval when a servant took her plate away. “I haven’t had much of an appetite while we traveled.”

  Father shared a concerned look with h
is daughter over his wife’s lack of appetite and constant exhaustion because of lack of sleep. For the past six months, she’d heard her mother crying late at night. Since they’d returned home, she’d hoped Mother would regain the weight she lost and the shadows under her eyes she tried hiding with cosmetics would disappear.

  Her father grasped his wife’s hand. “I’ll tell Cook to make all your favorite dishes. I can’t have my lady wasting away.”

  Mother swatted her husband’s arm. “Alistair, you—” She yawned, covering her mouth. “Oh dear, I’m tired. I shall retire to my bedroom for a nap.” She brushed her fingers on the back of Father’s hand and gifted him a languid look. She wasn’t much for subtlety regarding Father when in the privacy of their home.

  Mother rose from her chair and yawned again. “Dear husband, before I nap, you should come upstairs and see the presents I have bought back from my travels. You’ll be pleased by what I have to show you.”

  She stared at the table when her mother whispered in her father’s ear. He cleared his throat and responded with a grunt. Looking up, she caught him watching in appreciation as Mother left.

  “You should see to Mother before she takes her…nap,” she offered.

  He turned to her with a rueful smile. “She’ll wait for me. But first I wanted to speak with you. The house had been too quiet without your mother’s chatter and our discussions during dinner.”

  “I’m glad to be home. Going on holiday was the best thing for Mother.”

  “And what about you, Daughter?”

  “I enjoyed spending time with Grandmother and Grandfather and seeing old friends.” She smiled.

  Her father ran a palm through his hair and crossed one leg over the other. He appeared to be relaxed, but he had strain lines around his eyes and mouth, and he tapped his fingers on his knee in a steady beat. Something serious occupied his mind.

  She folded her hands on the table. “How is Ramona? Is she still unstable?”