Lovestruck Read online

  "Jenny, it's okay. For a while I was worried because you didn't show an interest in anybody. You don't drool over any famous actresses or rock stars. It's good to know you yearn for someone like we all do." Tonya placed her hand on her forehead and pretended to swoon.

  "Feeling this way sucks. And now that we may be out of jobs, I just don't know anymore. I'm so confused." Jenny dropped her hands into her lap.

  Mike put an arm around her shoulder and squeezed. "Don't worry. I'm not worried. Tonya isn't. The one who has the least to worry about is you. Even if they closed the hotel, Jennings wouldn't let you go. You're a valued employee."

  "Here, here." Tonya let out a tipsy burp.

  "What if I told you Barb— Jennings offered me a job as her assistant?"

  "I would say congratulations, and when do you start?" Mike finished off the rest of his beer.

  "Yeah, me too." Tonya hiccupped and poured herself another beer.

  "I don't know. It just seems a bit fishy with her offering me a job and then hearing this talk about the hotel closing. Maybe I should ask her?"

  "You go ahead and do that. I would love to see you, a poor college student and employee of The Barracuda, go up and ask her what's going on. She'd laugh and tell you to mind your own business. Don't forget, Jenny, we are very much peons in her eyes.

  Don't let your feelings for her cloud your judgment. Until you become her assistant, keep the questions very basic, like how much of a raise you're getting." Mike explained and gulped down more beer.

  She could see arguing was useless since Mike and Tonya were close to drunk.

  They didn't seem to understand, and unless she came out and said she was involved with Barbara, they wouldn't care one way or the other. She would keep her mouth shut and have one more beer before she hit the road. Perhaps if she had a good night's sleep, everything would be better in the morning.

  The next morning didn't bring any new epiphanies for Jenny. As she went through her classes, she kept her mind off work and her situation with Barbara. She still hadn't returned Barbara's first message. When Barbara called her a second time, she turned off her cell. She knew Barbara didn't like being ignored, and by not returning her calls, she'd soon become frustrated. Jenny didn't have to be at work until Tuesday and if it came down to it, she'd confront Barbara then.

  Jenny worried Professor Jennings would talk to her after class. She wouldn't be surprised to learn Barbara had spoken to him about their relationship. But when he released the class for the day, he didn't single her out and she breathed a sigh of relief and made her way to her train where she would go home and try to keep her mind off things.

  But the urge to check her phone became overwhelming. When she got off at her stop and made her way down her street, she checked to see if she had any new missed calls.

  "Jennifer!" A voice rang out from behind her. One she had come to recognize all too well.

  "I knew something was up when you didn't return any of my calls after I left a third message. I decided to take time out of my busy day and see why you're ignoring me." Barbara leaned against her Porsche with her arms crossed.

  Jenny's heart jumped up into her throat. She'd walked right by the car without even noticing it. And she also thought she would have more time before they talked.

  She walked over to Barbara as she put her phone back into her bag. Barbara looked very well put together and professional in her dark gray suit and matching heels. She wore sunglasses to block the glare from the setting sun.

  "You didn't have to put yourself out on my account. I've been busy."

  Barbara pushed her sunglasses up on top of her head and moved away from the car. "What's the matter, Jennifer? I thought we made plans to see each other tonight.

  Don't you realize what lengths it took for me to come here?"

  "Yeah, I bet it's such a difficulty." Jenny looked around to see if anyone she knew lurked nearby. "I'm surprised you want to be seen with me in the daylight. Isn't your M.O. to work under the cloak of darkness?"

  Barbara grabbed Jenny by the arm. "What the hell is wrong with you? Did something happen?"

  Jenny noted the concern in Barbara's eyes. She longed to kiss her, but that wouldn't change what she knew. She could pretend to be a bitch and walk away from or come out and tell her what was on her mind.

  "I've learned an interesting piece of news."

  "Okay, so what's the deal?"

  Jenny glanced up at her apartment. "Do you want to come up where we can talk or do you have a more important meeting to zoom off to?"

  "Jennifer . . . ." Barbara moved in closer until they stood nose to nose.

  Jenny stepped back. She needed to stay calm and not lose her cool. Wouldn't do to make a scene—or start making out—on a public street.

  "Let's go up." Jenny said in a kinder voice. Acting like a bitch wasn't going to get her anywhere.

  Barbara gave Jenny a strained smile and squeezed her arm. "I would love to. But, what about Mike?"

  "You don't have to worry about him. He's at work." Jenny couldn't keep the defensive tone out of her voice. Keeping their relationship on the down-low had grown tiresome already.

  "Jennifer." Barbara admonished and reached out to grab her arm again, but Jenny turned away and walked up the front steps, expecting Barbara to follow her.

  Barbara locked her car. Jenny looked over her shoulder and caught Barbara staring at her ass. "Stop that. Let's go inside."

  Even when we're having a fight, she still has sex on her mind. She's incorrigible. Jenny stomped up the stairs, unlocked the door and walked into her apartment. She left the door opened for Barbara, put her bag on a chair in the kitchen and opened the refrigerator.

  Barbara took in her surroundings. Jennifer's apartment was exactly what she'd expected: very homey, even with the mismatched furniture that looked like it came from Ikea or a rummage sale.

  "Would you like something to drink? I have iced tea."

  "Iced tea would be great." Barbara walked into the kitchen and placed her hands on top of one of the chairs. She watched Jennifer take a glass from the cabinet and pour some tea. Barbara dug her fingers into the back of the chair. She hoped whatever was up Jennifer's ass could be resolved so they could relax and enjoy each other's company for the next few hours.

  She wanted to walk over, back Jennifer against the counter and kiss the breath out of her. But this time she would refrain since every time she seemed to have a moment alone with Jennifer, she end up pushing her against some hard surface.

  Besides, Jennifer didn't seem too happy with her at the moment, and Barbara thought it best to keep her lust in check. At least for the time-being.

  Jennifer placed the full glass on the table for Barbara to take and stood against the counter drinking her own. Both women kept silent as they sipped their cool drinks.

  "Is it okay if we sit?" Barbara asked as she pulled out the chair in front of her.

  "Be my guest. I'd rather stand."

  "Okay then." Barbara pushed aside her aggravation and took a deep breath.

  "Listen, I don't understand why you're in such a snit, so come out and tell me why you're so angry with me."

  Jennifer gulped down the rest of her tea and put her glass in the sink. "If I was closer to your age, would you call what I'm having a snit?"

  Barbara tapped her fingers on the table as she leaned back in the chair with her other arm over the back. "Now you have me at a loss. Someone must have said something about us because I can't figure out why you're suddenly so tense. Who pissed you off? Does someone know about us?"

  Jennifer pulled out the chair and sat. "No. I wish that was the main problem. I don't care about our age difference. If anything, it's because you're my very rich boss."

  "Jennifer—"

  Jennifer held up a hand to stop her. "Can you let me finish talking? I know you're used to having people listen to your every word, but I need to ask you something before I lose my courage."

  Barbara crossed her arms
. "Very well. Go ahead, Jennifer. The table is all yours."

  "I heard something you could say is a bit distressing, and I don't think it's a rumor. I'm just going to come out and ask. Are you thinking of closing down the St.

  Jennings or firing some of the staff to save money?"

  Barbara took another sip from her glass. "Where did you hear this?"

  "What does it matter where or who I heard it from. Is it true?"

  "Jennifer, this doesn't concern—"

  "Don't you dare tell me this doesn't concern me." She slapped her hands on the table. "I want an answer, and I think I deserve one."

  "If we weren't in a relationship, would you feel you had the right to ask me?"

  Barbara asked very calmly.

  "Relationship? What relationship? We had one night and we fucked each other to get it out of our systems. What we have doesn't qualify as anything close to a relationship." Jennifer stood and knocked the chair out of her way.

  Barbara stood and walked around the table. Even as Jennifer put her hands up, Barbara pushed her against the counter.

  "Oh yeah, back me into a corner like you always do. This time you can't kiss and fuck me into submission." Jennifer fought against Barbara's hold.

  Barbara nodded. Jennifer was right. A kiss wasn't going to cut it here, so she let go. Jennifer walked around to the other side of the table, massaging her arms.

  Barbara rubbed her forehead. "I'm sorry, Jennifer. I didn't mean to manhandle you. Are you alright?"

  "Yes. It's just . . . I need you to stay away from me for now." Jennifer fell silent, tears filling her eyes.

  Barbara grabbed the chair Jennifer had pushed to the side and sat down. "Fine. I will tell you what you want to hear. The St. Jennings is in dire straights. I have less than three months to turn things around. I need the hotel to start making a profit. It's so far in the red I don't think it can be saved. And after putting too much of my money into the hotel over the past five years, I'm ready to throw in the towel. There are two options. I lay off part of the staff and see what happens or I cut my losses because I have a buyer interested in the building."

  "What type of buyer?" Jenny asked.

  "I'm not at liberty to disclose his name, but I'm certain he would use the space for offices. The hotel is prime real estate and would be perfect for a corporation to come in and use it."

  "Not at liberty, huh? So that morning when we had breakfast on your balcony and you offered me a job as your assistant, you figured I'd eventually accept because in a few months I would be out of job anyway?" Jennifer's voice rose in disbelief.

  "Of course. I value you as an employee."

  Jennifer pointed her finger at Barbara. "What you value is my body and how well I make you come. You don't care. Your only worry is about yourself and where to buy your next thousand dollar suit."

  "That's total and utter bullshit, Jennifer." Barbara rose again and placed her hands on her hips. "If I didn't care I wouldn't be here."

  " Pu-lease. All you care about is getting laid."

  "Stop being so crude. You're acting like a child."

  Jennifer slapped the side of her legs. "There you go again, bringing up my age.

  You didn't think I would be upset? Hello, I have friends who rely on their jobs. This could destroy their lives. You don't know what it's like out there trying to find work.

  How can you be so callous?"

  "Callous? Jennifer, I'm trying to do the best I can under the circumstances. I can't save everyone here. I've lost enough sleep over it. You must realize—"

  "I don't have to understand anything. What if we didn't get together? Would you be here right now trying to smooth things over so you can have me go down on you later on?"

  "I give up. It's not like that and you know it. I have feelings for you. So yes, shoot me, but if there is anyone I would save from all this heartache, it's you because of what we have together."

  Jennifer looked down at the floor and put her hands in her pockets. "Barbara, I can't stand by and pretend nothing's wrong. You can't expect me to keep quiet while you decide on so many futures."

  "Oh, Jennifer." Barbara walked over and placed her palm against Jennifer's cheek.

  When Barbara leaned in to kiss her, she turned her face away.

  "I can't be with you like this. I'm too angry. Sex is not going to fix things between us." Jennifer moved away and crossed her arms. Her eyes burned from the unshed tears she was barely holding back. "I think you should leave. I can't deal with this right now."

  "Jennifer." Barbara held out a hand. "Why don't we sit in your living room and talk? I would feel better knowing you don't think I'm a bad guy in all of this."

  "But Barbara, I do think you are the bad guy in this. I should have known little old me couldn't have anything with some powerful, money hungry woman like you.

  That's your life. Mine is much simpler."

  Barbara stroked her hand through Jennifer's hair and kissed her. Jennifer let out a watery sigh against Barbara's mouth and moaned as Barbara wrapped her arms around her, holding her close and plundering her mouth. She noticed the tears Jennifer had kept in check now rolled down her cheeks but refused to release her mouth. Jennifer didn't respond or join in.

  Barbara ended the kiss, realizing it was a lost cause. "Maybe you're right. We both need our space. I have to go over everything. Perhaps . . . ."

  "Perhaps?" Jennifer asked as she wiped away the tears on her cheeks.

  "I don't know. I'll think of something. I just hate ending things this way because the next few days are going to be extremely busy on my end."

  "Maybe this is a sign we should end things here and now."

  Barbara's mouth dropped open. She refused to think things were over between them. "Because you're upset, I'll let that slide. But I will tell you right now, this does not end here. I'll fix this problem and make it right."

  Jennifer exhaled, went over to the counter and grabbed a paper towel to blow her nose. "Do what you have to do. In the big scheme of things, I don't matter, right?"

  "Jennifer, you matter in more ways than you can possibly know." At that moment she knew she was head over heals in love with the woman.

  "Goodbye, Barbara." Jennifer turned away.

  "Can I get a goodbye kiss?" Barbara hated begging, hated the tears burning her eyes, but she would crawl across the floor for a kiss if she had to.

  "You had your kiss already. You took it, remember? Just like you take everything because you think you deserve it. Just like you took me." Jennifer whispered.

  Barbara couldn't argue with her. She'd been handed many things in her life, even by her father who pushed her to the point where she almost hated him. But at the end of the day she had always succeeded and got what she wanted. This—being denied something she desired more than anything in the world—this was new. Uncharted territory. The pain of Jennifer's rejection ate her up inside.

  "Okay. But I'm not walking away. I'm going to call you and leave messages even though you may not want to hear from me. Things will work out. You'll see." She forced herself to sound cheerful.

  "Whatever."

  Barbara nodded, even though Jennifer couldn't see her. With one last hungry glance at the woman she wanted desperately, she walked away. She opened the door and walked down the dark hallway, downstairs and outside to her car. She took a minute to see if Jennifer would come running down and tell her not to leave, just like in those sappy scenes in those romantic movies. But Jennifer never did. Barbara let out a shaky breath, got into her car and drove away. Her own tears fell as she sobbed. All she wanted to do was crawl into bed and cry.

  She ached deep in her heart for the one person who could stop the pain.

  Barbara feared she'd really lost her, and that all the money or power she had at her disposal couldn't fix this.

  Chapter Twelve

  Three days flew by and Barbara still hadn't heard from Jennifer. She left an average of two voice messages a day on Jennifer's cell, hoping
she'd call back, but she never did. Barbara couldn't sleep. Not even her old faithful Jack Rabbit could ease the ache between her legs. There were too many memories of her much beloved tool she and Jennifer had shared on that very short, wonderful night together. She took to running on her treadmill in the early morning hours and lost herself in her work, even though she wanted to go back over to Jennifer's apartment or to the hotel and shake her into seeing reason.

  Now, as she sat in her Madison Avenue office waiting for her one o'clock lunch meeting, she knew that unless she figured out a way to save the hotel without sacrificing too many of those working there, she would be the devil incarnate in Jennifer's eyes.

  "Snap put of it. You need to keep your head in the game." She spoke to her empty office. She stood up from her desk and went over to her bathroom to freshen up before self-proclaimed, richer-than-Midas real estate mogul, Kyle James, arrived.

  Barbara brushed her hair and reapplied her eyeliner and lipstick. Her lips were raw and red from chewing on them. Yet another nervous habit she'd picked up during this whole drama. As she stared at herself in the mirror, she saw a tired and haggard middle-aged woman. Barbara felt so old and not because her thirty-sixth birthday was two weeks away. She needed a vacation and soon. The trip to Egypt she had started planning for looked better by the moment. But first things first. She had to appeal to Kyle and see if he would be interested in a partnership of sorts, rather than taking an easy way out and accepting the large amount of money he was ready to hand over for ownership of the St. Jennings.

  Barbara walked over to her desk as her phone buzzed.

  "Yes?"

  "Your one o'clock is here, Miss Jennings." The temp Barbara hired spoke through the speaker.

  "Thank you. I'll be out in a moment."

  Barbara brushed down her suit, which brought back memories of Jennifer, who had the habit of doing the same thing. She took a deep breath, lifted her head and pushed thoughts of Jennifer out of her mind. She needed to concentrate on business for the next few hours. She opened the double doors that led out to the foyer and walked down the marble-tiled hallway until she came into the seating area. A large man wearing what most would call a power suit sat on one of the black leather couches, reading his Blackberry. He typed away, glancing up when Barbara stood in front of him.