If You Only Knew (Lovestruck #3) Read online

  If You Only Knew Copyright 2014 by KT Grant

  Cover art Copyright 2017 by Insatiable Design

  Smashwords Edition

  The reproduction or utilization of this book in any form by mechanical or other means is forbidden by law. Copyright infringement is investigated by the FBI and may result in fines of up to $250,000 or imprisonment.

  This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  If You Only Knew

  World-renowned artist and successful New York City gallery art owner Stella Jennings has everything she could ever want, but she feels like life is passing her by. Because of her crazy work schedule, she doesn’t have time to date or even have a fling. She’s bored and stuck in a rut with no way out. But then, one cold February night, she meets an eccentric and forward-thinking woman who’s more than willing to show her a good time without any promises.

  Kristi Welch has finally kicked her faithless fiancé to the curb. Her life is about to become even more complicated because he’s also part owner of her popular tattoo shop and refuses to let her buy him out. Her ex-girlfriend, the rich Manhattan socialite Veronica Hardwicke, also wants her back in her bed and she won’t take no for an answer. Kristi needs a break from life in general, but after meeting Stella and engaging in some kinky sexual activity one night in her office, she’s willing to take what Stella’s offering.

  Both women are looking for thrills, but on their own terms. As each develops strong feelings for the other, the dark secrets Kristi has kept hidden for so long emerge because of Veronica’s jealousy. Now Kristi has to decide how much she’s willing to reveal to Stella, knowing their relationship could be ruined forever. She could end up losing everything, including her heart.

  “The more you like yourself, the less you are like anyone else, which makes you unique.” - Walt Disney

  If You Only Knew

  By

  KT Grant

  CHAPTER ONE

  The cold Saturday night in February didn’t keep the city’s inhabitants indoors. One such individual braving the elements rested against a brick building, wearing a blouse-and-skirt ensemble better suited for warmer weather. But her long black cashmere wool coat protected her, and her slouchy suede boots stopped frostbite from attacking her toes. Her current problem wasn’t the cold, but the cramping in her stomach from a bad case of nerves threatening to make her vomit. This was the case before any art exhibit of which she was in charge. But, this time, she was close to having a breakdown because the Mika Sato exhibit was the kick off to New York City’s Art Appreciation Week.

  Was she inside greeting the press and the crème de la crème of the art community? Nope. She, Stella Jennings, the darling of the Jennings clan, sucked down a clove cigarette like it was nobody’s business.

  If her older sister, Barbara, saw, she’d roll her eyes and snatch it from her mouth. Her brother Christian would talk her ear off about throat cancer. Then she would sulk and search for some type of alcohol or down a few shots.

  Ending up sick from drinking too much booze, plus a ridiculous panic attack to go along with it because she was afraid of failure, would be the icing on the cake. After almost three and a half decades of living, she’d had her share of them, but had always soldiered through and survived when all was said and done.

  She inhaled slowly, allowing the spicy smell and the rush of tobacco to alleviate the stress and tension riddling her body—

  The shriek of a car horn jolted her. People huddled in their coats and other winter gear marched up out of the subway entrance across the street. Everyone was bundled up against the harsh Manhattan winter, which this season was mainly freezing rain and frigid wind. Snow had yet to make its appearance.

  She shivered and inhaled the smoke, cursing for not wearing a scarf or gloves. In another minute or so, I’ll head inside and be my usual, perky self—

  Her breath caught in her throat as she noticed a person shivering in the wind. Under a bright street lamp next to the subway entrance, a petite woman wearing a horrendous, shockingly bright coat appeared. It was an ungainly monstrosity that looked like orange paint had exploded on it. A multicolored fringed scarf hid the owner’s face. A bright purple pom-pom beanie covered a mop of mahogany-colored hair with cherry red highlights.

  Some people have no style. Stella snorted and exhaled, a plume of smoking rising above her head. She leaned back on the brick wall as the breeze picked up and numbed her face. She hunched deeper into the soft Chilean wool collar, trying to stay warm.

  “If you stand out here much longer, your face will morph into one big ripe tomato.”

  She flinched when the hot ash of her clove hit the side of her hand. She waved her hand to soothe the sting of the burn and moved away from the wall. The woman, with too many clashing colors decorating her person, stood on her left.

  The fugly-coat woman had her hands in her pockets. She lifted her mouth from under her scarf and a smirk, materialized. Her eyes dropped to small slits, and she licked her lips.

  She looks like she wants to eat me. Stella shook away her internal musing and cleared her throat. “May I help you? I don’t think we know one another.”

  “We’ve never met. I saw you watching me and came over to ask for a hit. Can you spare one?”

  Both amused and slighted by the cheek of this garish woman, she grudgingly held out her pack of cloves. “Are you old enough to smoke?”

  The woman wrapped a warm hand around hers and plucked a stick from the box. A tingle traveled up through Stella’s fingers and then her arm. It lasted only a second and was broken when the woman released her and drew a matchbook from an oversized pink leather tote bag Stella recognized as a Mulberry Alexa original.

  The woman lit her clove and blew out the match, her lips coming together in a moue. “It’s a knockoff.”

  “What?” Her own lips tingled, and she wet them with her tongue.

  “My bag you’re eyeing is a fake. No way in hell am I spending a thousand bucks on a purse,” the forthright woman volunteered. She took another long drag. “You should use some sort of lip balm instead of tonguing your lips. You have a nice mouth, and, if you keep licking, your lips will end up brittle and red like your face.” She inhaled her smoke and grinned, pulling out an already used ChapStick, and offering it.

  She touched her cheek. It felt cold and dry, which annoyed her, especially after her bi-monthly facial earlier. “No, thanks.” She fluffed her bangs and stubbed out her clove with the heel of her boot.

  “I don’t have any diseases, if that’s what you’re worried about. Here, use this for your lips. You can even keep it. I have more at home.”

  Is she on something? She held up her hands. “No, thank you. Why would I put a stranger’s used ChapStick on my mouth?”

  The woman shrugged and took another inhale of her cigarette. “You look like someone who’s willing to take a chance, even with your designer duds and frou-frou haircut.”

  Now she was insulted. All she’d wanted was a few minutes of alone time before she had to be on display. Next time she was going to smoke in the bathroom and damn the fire laws. She blew in her hands. “This is a first for me.”

  “First for what? Flirting with another woman?”

  Her jaw dropped. Flirting? She was doing no such thing! Why, she was—

  The too-chipper woman with teasing eyes took a step in closer and winked. “This has been fun. I’d recommend we go someplace to get to know each other better, but I have an important shindig to go to.”

  The nerve! She blinked a few times, and a gasp left her mouth. Were her cloves laced with something? That was the only conclusion she came up with regarding this wacky interaction.

  Before she told the woman to back off and go on her merry way, her cell vibrated. She read the text from her assistant, wondering where the hell she was.

  The woman’s shoulder brushed hers as she tried reading the text. Stella jerked her phone to her chest and stepped back. “Excuse me. You’re rude.”

  “I’ve been called that. But more often I’m accused of being a bitch, or so my fiancé—well, now my ex-fiancé, called me an hour ago before I headed out tonight. Actually, he used another label to describe me, a specific part of our anatomy we both have as women.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

  She choked back a gasp. “Time for me to go! It’s been…real…or more like a….”

  “A WTF?”

  “What’s a WTF?”

  “A what-the-fuck.” The corner of the woman’s mouth lifted. “It’s online lingo speak. All the kids use it now.”

  She shook her head again. A small ache was forming behind her eyes. I think I have whiplash.

  Her phone rang again, this time a call from her head of security.

  “I have to go,” she muttered, and walked away.

  “Hey! Don’t you want your pack back?” the woman called out.

  “Keep it.” She turned around and backed way, scowling at the woman who waved her pack in the air and lit up another smoke.

  “One exchange for another.” The woman rested her shoulder on the wall.

  Baffled by the statement, Stella rushed down the sidewalk and around the corner to the gallery. She took a peek behind her to see if the woman followed, but no bundle of bright orange chased after her.

  A crowd of people stood in line outside. Livery cars and limos lined the street and flashes went off from cameras in front of the gallery.


  Not wanting get caught in the rush or explain why she was outside, she slipped through the side and toward the back entrance.

  Reaching in her coat pocket for her keys, she found something that shouldn’t be there. It was an unused ChapStick and a business card for a place called Ink Proof with a slogan underneath—The proof is in the ink—along with an address and a phone number. The name of the owner was missing.

  She almost turned back around to confront the woman she’d had the strangest chat with. But the door opened and her assistant Juliet stood there frowning.

  “It’s about time! That had to be the longest pre-showing smoke you’ve ever taken! And look at you! Your face is all red from the cold.”

  She sighed, clutching the ChapStick. She would now have to fix her hair and makeup. When she touched up her lipstick, she added an extra coating, thanks to the lip balm she now had in her possession.

  Hopefully the rest of the night would go off without a hitch and wouldn’t be as strange as it began. Her short interaction with the frank, colorful woman made her anxiety vanish, and something like exhilaration rose in its place.

  CHAPTER TWO

  The buzz of conversation gave Stella hope that Mika’s paintings and sculptures would sell well, with the possibility of more than one bid on each of them. An hour into the exhibit, the main floor was packed with people from all walks of life, from artists to industry professionals, including a few nose-in-the-air society types wearing tuxedos and gowns better suited for the opera or symphony.

  “Here’s to your success, little sister.” Christian handed her a flute of champagne and gave her a one-armed hug. She smiled up at him and at his gold-rimmed glasses. Her usually stuffy-acting brother wore a more casual look than a sweater vest and khakis, his uniform, as she called it. For once the respected dean of economics of New York College wore a blue-plaid sports coat and matching slacks, most likely a Christmas present from his boyfriend, Patrick, who stood with her sister, Barbara, and her fiancée, Jenny.

  “I’m glad you and Patrick came, Christian. I know he isn’t really comfortable with this kind of event.” She waved to Patrick as he came over to them with Barbara and Jenny in tow.

  “Patrick’s New Year’s resolution is to get out more and try new things.” Christian curved an arm around his lover’s shoulders. They stared at one another as two people in love did. Her chest clenched, and she stared woefully at her half-filled champagne glass.

  “It’s a wonderful turnout,” Barbara announced, nodding in approval.

  She warmed at her sister’s compliment. Barbara, like their father, had once been too critical of her accomplishments. In the past, she would have snapped back some snarky reply to raise Barbara’s ire. But since Barbara met Jenny, she had loosened up a lot.

  “This is the first time I’ve been to an art exhibit.” Jenny glanced around the room wide-eyed.

  She held back a laugh at the younger’s woman awestruck expression.

  “Don’t worry, kiddo. The next few weeks will be jam-packed with these fun events,” Barbara lifted Jenny’s hand and kissed her palm. Jenny blushed and stared down at her other hand where her diamond engagement ring sparkled under the lights.

  “Today is a celebration. Not only for Stella’s successful exhibit, but for Barbara and Jenny’s engagement. Cheers, ladies!” Christian raised his glass.

  “I still can’t believe you asked me to marry you this morning.” Jenny gave Barbara a mock grimace. “And not knowing I’d accept, you’d already made appointments for reception halls and cake tastings.” She turned and faced Stella, wagging a finger. “You were in on it the entire time and not surprised when we called to tell you the good news.”

  She sent Jenny a shrewd smile. “She told us she was going to ask you to marry her a few weeks ago and we had to keep it a secret. You know how…insistent Barbara can be when she wants something.”

  “I knew you wouldn’t refuse me. I always get what I want,” Barbara said in a silky tone, staring down at Jenny’s ring in smug satisfaction.

  A slight burning sensation filled Stella’s chest as she caught sight of the ring. She was overjoyed for her sister finding such happiness with Jenny, a woman ten years her junior and her employee. She’d never thought Barbara would end up with someone so different from her sister in many ways. It was good to know opposites could attract and make it work in the end.

  If I had taken up that mystery’s woman’s offer to go off somewhere with her, would there have been sparks between us? Maybe we would have ended up at some seedy hour-a-night motel in the East Village and had dirty anonymous sex together.

  “Earth to Stella!”

  She brought her concentration back to the people around her. Barbara sent her a curious stare. She shook her head. “Sorry, what’s up?”

  When someone patted her back, she turned. Hadley Garrett, the head of the security for tonight’s event, stood behind her.

  “Hello, Hadley. Any problems I should be aware of?” She put her glass down on a table.

  “Sorry to intrude. May I have a moment of your time?” Hadley asked.

  “Sure. Excuse me,” she told the group and walked over to a less crowded corner.

  Hadley, dressed in head-to-toe black with her wavy red curls pulled back in a braid, accompanied her. She tilted her head as the soft drone of a voice spoke through her earpiece.

  “What’s up?” Stella scanned the area to spot any problems that would have Hadley on alert.

  The woman moved in closer with her hands behind her back. “Someone who isn’t on the guest list sneaked in.”

  She scanned the room, frustrated she wasn’t tall enough to see over everyone’s shoulders, like Hadley was. “Who is it? Oh my God. Don’t tell me it’s a terrorist!”

  Hadley covered her mouth with the back of her hand. Her shoulders shook in silent laughter. “It’s Craig Hampton. I don’t know how he did it, but that fink is here scoping out the action.”

  Hampton was an annoying piece of shit who hid behind his father’s paper, or rather, the tabloid rag, The Metro Journal, acting as their head reporter. He found joy unearthing the most embarrassing things about the rich and famous Manhattanites. Many times, her family had been the subject of his articles and blog posts, with her as the focal point when she was younger and obsessed with partying.

  “Have you located him yet?” She placed her palm on her stomach where the urge to fiddle with her belly button ring burned a hole through the fabric of her silk top.

  “The slick SOB is somewhere in this crowd. We’ll find him,” Hadley said with a promise in her voice. Suddenly, she inhaled loudly.

  She grabbed Hadley’s arm. “What? You found him?”

  “No, but I’ve spotted someone who can bring him out into the open.” Hadley indicated with a nudge of her chin two strikingly handsome men standing near one of Mika’s marble statues.

  She recognized one of them. “Hampton has it out for Kyle because he won’t give him an exclusive interview.” The multimillionaire real estate mogul, her friend, chatted with the mystery man next to him. “Who’s the eye candy with the long black hair?”

  Hadley snickered. “That’s Preston Kale, the CEO of the Kale Coffee Corporation. He’s visiting here from Hawaii. He and Kyle go way back. There’s rumors Preston wants Kyle to invest with him. I also heard Preston is in talks with your sister Barbara to have Kale Coffee exclusively sold in all the St. Jennings hotels, not only on the mainland, but around the world.”

  She didn’t find the news all that surprising. It would make sense for Barbara, as CEO of her family’s hotel corporation, to find a way to make more of a profit. Plus, working in close proximity with the two beautiful men would sweeten the deal. But, then again, Barbara’s appreciation was reserved for Jenny since she was so head over heels in love with her.

  Kyle turned Stella’s way, lifting his hand in a greeting. She did the same. Preston nodded at her and winked. Was he winking at her? She considered Hadley, who crossed her arms and tilted her chin up in acknowledgment.